Real Stories
29 November 2024

Ruth's story

Real Stories
29 November 2024

A retired GP has expressed her gratitude to CancerCare after both she and her late husband benefited from the charity's services.

Ruth Haigh, from Levens, is currently receiving her second round of one-to-one counselling with therapist Heidi at the Kendal centre, following the loss of her husband, Bern, to pancreatic cancer in April 2024.

However, Ruth's journey with CancerCare began five years earlier. In early 2018, Bern was diagnosed with oral cancer, and he underwent life-changing surgery to remove two-thirds of his jaw, with bone from his fibula used for facial reconstruction. Ruth cared for him at home during this time.

“It was an extremely challenging period,” Ruth recalls. “When I was finally able to leave the house, a friend, who had used CancerCare after her father’s death, suggested I reach out. She thought it might be helpful for me to speak with someone in a professional setting, so I got in touch.”

Ruth began a course of counselling sessions — her first experience of one-to-one therapy.

“At first, I was unsure what to expect. But I was reassured that my feelings were normal and that I wasn’t alone,” Ruth shares. “It was OK to feel both good and bad.”

As Bern faced additional surgeries, Ruth suggested he might benefit from CancerCare’s services as well, as he was struggling with the emotional impact of his disabilities.

“Bern found it incredibly helpful,” Ruth says. “Although he had received a five-year all-clear for his mouth cancer, in 2023 he was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. He tried chemotherapy, but it caused more problems than it solved. He passed away in April 2024.”

Ruth continues: “Before he got too poorly, Bern found it comforting to talk to a CancerCare therapist. He could discuss things he didn’t want to burden me with. When he passed, I contacted CancerCare again, and I’ve been meeting with Heidi in Kendal every week since. It’s been so valuable to have a safe space to talk. The centre in Kendal is so welcoming, too.”

Ruth recently made a generous donation to CancerCare, saying: “The support I’ve received has been invaluable. I know how much counselling would have cost if I had paid for it privately.

“I’m nearing the end of my sessions now, but I’ve looked forward to my mornings with Heidi. It’s a time to gather my thoughts and unload — something I wouldn’t want to do with friends and family. There really isn’t a service like it in the local area, and it fills a huge gap for people and families dealing with cancer or loss.”

Have any questions?

No question is too small - if you need help just call. Our friendly team are here to help.