Real Stories
09 August 2024

How hypnotherapy helped ease extreme grief: Susan's story

Real Stories
09 August 2024

Susan Bourne sought out CancerCare’s support earlier this year after losing her husband, Mick, to lung cancer on 31st December 2023.

“We were very much in love, having been together for 22 years and married for 21,” says Susan. “We were extremely close and went everywhere together; if I was in the garden, he was there too.”

After Mick’s passing, Susan was struggling to cope, as she explains: “I didn’t know what to do with myself and I was crying all of the time. I couldn’t sleep. I couldn’t eat and I lost a lot of weight. I thought my life was over.”

Susan made a first step by visiting her doctor at Bentham Medical Practice. Susan was reluctant to start medication for depression, and her doctor agreed with her decision.

“My doctor provided me the contact details for CancerCare, and as soon as I got home, I decided I had to do something about how I was feeling,” Susan continues. “I rang up and I was directed to the CancerCare website that detailed the different services on offer. I got an initial assessment appointment quickly, too.”

When Susan met with accessor Georgie, she had initially believed aromatherapy could have been a suitable option for her as she had previously experienced its benefits: “When I got chatting with Georgie, I told her that I had sleep problems and that I had an overactive mind – my brain never shuts off and it aggravates me all day long, made a lot worse by losing Mick. Georgie then mentioned hypnotherapy. I was apprehensive at first as I didn’t fancy being put into a trance, but I soon learnt that it was not like that at all.”

Susan began sessions with CancerCare hypnotherapist Anne Marie. She was nervous ahead of her first session, but Anne Marie instantly made her feel at ease. It was a life-changing experience for Susan:

“Anne Marie has given me new techniques and methods that I will use for the rest of my life. She helps me reflect on the positive things, and not on the negative. If I came into my session talking about what had gone wrong in the week, she would gently stop me and refocus my mind. She would encourage me to think about what had gone well and what plans I had coming up. Now, I know how to praise myself and pat myself on the back. I realise I can’t change the past, so if something negative comes up I put that out of my mind and look to the future. If I get upset about Mick, I can stop myself and refocus on the present. I’ve effectively trained my mind and learnt how to use different parts of my brain.

“I looked forward to my sessions so much. Anne Marie became a non-judgemental friend who I could talk openly to. She has also provided me with an audio track that I can play at night to help me sleep and relax, and it’s really been working for me.”

An individual’s journey with therapy is often never linear, though, as Susan also discovered: “I had a bit of a melt-down part-way through my course of sessions. About six weeks in I had a breakdown and have lost five-hours of memory that I still cannot account for. I’m not sure what happened, but Anne Marie got me back on track and I had two more sessions added into my course.”

Since finishing her hypnotherapy sessions, Susan has taken part in an online mindfulness course, and she’s gained more valuable coping mechanisms.

“I don’t know what I would have done without CancerCare,” Susan adds. “I would recommend hypnotherapy to anyone, and I can use the tools and techniques for the rest of my life. It’s completely changed my life, and I am so grateful for everything.”

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