Imagine fighting your own battle against cancer, and then your wife is diagnosed. This exact situation happened to Henry Clark and his wife, Emily, who both found out they had cancer within 12 months of each other.
At last year’s CancerCare 40th anniversary ball, Henry moved all 150 attendees in the room with his powerful speech about his journey after being diagnosed with melanoma in 2019. On the night, he announced that Emily was also battling cancer after a recent diagnosis.
Henry received counselling sessions at CancerCare from therapist Helen. He also embarked on a fundraiser, raising £1,400 when he climbed Mount Snowdon.
Today, both Henry and Emily are as united as ever. Emily, who has rectal cancer, was initially unsure about sharing her story but decided to in the hope of raising vital awareness.
“I shouldn’t be ashamed or embarrassed and should be proud and open,” Emily says. “Both Henry and I have had cancer within a year of each other. We were both told we were too young, and that this situation is very rare. You couldn’t write it, but here I am writing about it.”
Emily’s initial symptom was excessive rectal bleeding, as she explains: “It wasn’t the normal bleed you might get after going to the toilet. So, off I went to the doctor. She couldn’t feel anything, and after a few tests I was referred for a colonoscopy appointment.”
A colonoscopy is a test to check inside your bowels via a long, thin, flexible tube with a small camera inside that is passed into your bottom. Patients are normally given a laxative ahead of time, so the bowels are empty for the test.
“It was certainly an experience, effectively having a BBC camera crew crawling up my backside while I was on gas and air!” Emily says. “When they reached the end of my bowels, though, they found a whopping tumour. I thought I was dreaming.”
Biopsies confirmed the tumour was cancerous, and on 13th March Emily had surgery to remove the tumour as well as parts of her bowel, colon, anal canal and anus.
One of her biggest challenges following the surgery was adapting to using a stoma bag.
One week after the operation, Emily went on her first walk, as she explains: “It was more of a hobble, whilst clinging onto my drip for dear life. I only walked about 30 steps, and it literally took everything I had left in my battered and bruised body.”
Support from friends, family and Henry have been a constant for Emily: “Everyone has been incredible, and I don’t have the words to explain how much Henry has aided me. Only being able to say ‘thank you’ seems like an insult, but it’s all I have for now.
“My body has changed, but so has my mindset. I will never look in the mirror and hate what I see, and I’ll never talk down about myself ever again. I am all the amazing things people tell me I am. It’s only taken having cancer, a seven-and-a-half-hour life altering bowel surgery to realise it, but I have to be grateful for that chance.”
Henry reflected on how the past two years have been for their family, too: “It’s been so difficult for us, physically and mentally, and I’m so proud of Emily. It’s easy to forget how much our children have gone through as two of their absolute rocks, the strongest people in their lives, have become weaker and more vulnerable for long periods of time. We’ve had huge, life-changing surgeries and our illnesses affect us each day.
“Not only have they been incredibly resilient and strong, handling their emotions and keeping their sense of humour and amazing personalities, but they’ve also started first jobs and different schools. They’ve been supportive and helpful, while excelling in on-going sport and music projects. Their young minds have handled so much in just two years.”
Henry and Emily recently got matching cancer ribbon tattoos.
“We’ve been through more in our two years of marriage than some couples have in 60 years,” Emily says. “Currently, I’m recovering so well, all considering. I’m still taking it slowly and some days are worse than others, but I’m over the worst of the physical pain. Mentally, I’ve struggled to come to terms with it at times.
“I’m looking forward to the summer after eight weeks of absolute hell on earth. I’d like to think I’ve cried all my tears but I’m still taking each day as it comes. I’m back to cheering my little man on at football, something that has made me so happy.”
While Emily’s experience has been less than simple, her sign-off advice is: “We need to know our bodies and what’s normal for us. Just go and get it checked out.”