When you’ve lost someone you love, Christmas can be a difficult time. Whether this is your first Christmas without them, or you lost them years ago, their absence can feel particularly hard at this time of year.
It might help to find ways to keep their memory alive during Christmas time. Here are some ideas that you might like to consider:
Share your memories
If you’re meeting with friends or coming together with family over Christmas, it’s ok to talk about the person who has died. It can be comforting to share stories or memories of the person you’ve lost. You might choose to look at old photographs together and remember good times you shared.
Continue a tradition or start a new one
Perhaps there was something special that you did together around this time of year, making a favourite food or going for a walk in a meaningful place. If you feel able, you could join friends or family and continue this tradition, or even take some time by yourself to do this in their honour. If it doesn’t feel right to do this without your loved one, you could think of a new tradition to start, something you think they would have liked.
Cards and gifts
You might choose to write a card or letter to someone who has died. You can keep it somewhere private or place it somewhere symbolic, like under the Christmas tree or on the mantlepiece. You might even choose to buy them a gift. You are important too – why not buy yourself a present you think they might have bought for you, or book a trip or activity you can look forward to after the festive season?
Display a special decoration
This could be an old decoration that they loved or something new you buy because it’s made in their favourite colour, or it simply makes you think of them. If you enjoy crafting, or you have younger family members, you could create a homemade decoration to honour your loved one’s memory, perhaps displaying their photo or name in a special Christmas bauble.
Create an online tribute
You could spend some time creating a personalised online Everlasting Tribute Page, dedicated to your loved one’s memory. You can add photos and memories and friends, family and colleagues can pay their own tribute by posting messages, lighting candles or making donations. There is no cost, and you can keep the page open for as long as you like. It’s a lovely place that you can visit time and time again, allowing memories of your loved one to live on all year round.
Donate or give back in their name
Many people find it a comfort to do something positive and meaningful in their loved one’s memory – something that will help others affected by cancer or bereavement. You could perform a small act of kindness for someone or make a donation so that – in your loved one’s name – CancerCare can support others in our local community who find themselves coping with cancer or bereavement this Christmas.
Christmas can be a time for joy and happy memories, but it can also be very emotional. Whatever you are feeling – it’s ok. Take care of yourself and don’t be afraid to ask for help.
At CancerCare, we know just how hard it is to lose someone you care about. Whatever you’re going through, our team is here to help.